Knott Jacquie Manning, ©2004 Tatertunes Music, BMI

I sing of a berry farmer and his fine family

This farmer’s family name was Knott -- spelled K-N-O-T-T

This farmer’s name was William, his wife was Norma Lee

And Norma Lee and William Knott had lovely daughters three

 

The oldest girl was gay and bold, Shirley was her name

Shirley was her first name and her last name was the same

As her sis, Mayella Beatrice, and beauteous was she

But she thought her name was way too long and went by just Mae Bea

 

The youngest of the daughters was quiet, sweet and shy

Her name it was Wynona, though her family called her Wy

So think, dear listeners, what a lovely family we have got

Three Knott’s Berry Farmer’s daughters, Shirley, Mae Bea and Wy Knott

 

One day a traveling salesman came to the farmer’s door

It seems his car ran out of gas a mile or two before

When he espied the eldest feeding berries to a cow

Her lips were ripe as cherries and the salesman he thought, “WOW!”

 

“This is just like all those stories they were telling back in school

Maybe I could have a real good time -- if I play it cool (ahem!)

Wanna tell me your name, darlin’?” the salesman slickly said

“Shirley!” said the farmer’s daughter. Said the salesman, “go ahead!”

 

As Shirley stood there smiling, the salesman scratched his head

“Uh, could you run that by me again?” “Shirley Knott”, she said

Just then her younger sisters came a’strolling into view

“Can’t make first base with this one, guess I’ll try these other two”

 

“Hello ladies, seems yer sister here has opted to be shy

Would you mind telling me your names?” They said, “Mae Bea and Wy”

“Well, maybe I would like to know -- though why, I’m not quite sure.”

Wy sighed, “Mae Bea she’s prettiest -- I’ve heard all that before”

 

The salesman took Wynona’s hand as she began to cry

“Aw darlin’, what’s your name, now?” She shyly whispered, “Wy”

“Why not?!” cried he. ”That’s right!” said she, “how did you know my name?”

He turned to the middle sister, “Mayhaps you’re the one who’s sane”

 

“Mayhaps, it’s not my name, sir -- Mae Bea, Mae Bea Knott”

“What is not your name?” said he. Said she, “that’s right, it’s Knott!”

“Oh surely you can help me!” “Mae Bea Knott! Don’t call me Shirley!”

“Please, just tell me your sister’s names -- this thing is getting squirrelly”

 

Mae Bea replied, “Wy, Shirley.” “Ok, why surely what?”

“Wy Knott.” “Why not?” “That’s right, you’ve got it.” “Yeah?” “Why surely.” “Not!”

“Why, this surely is just crazy.” “You’ve got that right, she’s nuts.”

“Who’s not right?” “Shirley Knott.“ “And why?” “Her too!” “Oh, maybe not!”

 

Just then up marched their family -- Pa, a shot gun on his arm

Pa says, “Now whoa there, stranger! Are ye causing my girls harm?”

“Oh, no!” cries the salesman, “just trying to get me introduced!

Thank God you’re here to give their names -- I am SO confused!”

 

“Will Knott!” exclaimed the father, -- “she’s Norma Lee Knott, their mother

And that man there is Frank Lee Knott, a cousin of my brother

This here’s, uh, Fred Smith -- he’ll wed my sister Mary in the fall

You could say he was Knott worthy, though he’s not no Knott at all!”

 

Will then points the shot gun at the salesman’s head

“I think its time you pick a bride.” “Surely not!” he said

“Ah, Shirley Knott, my daughter,” Norma Lee did cry

“Mae Bea, she’s a strange one -- and please do not ask Wy”

 

“Please sir, I’m begging you, can’t someone here talk sense?”

“Will Knott, to you.” “This will not do.” “Aw, pick a bride, young man!”

“Surely not today – surely not forever more!”

“Shirley?” “Maybe.” “Hey, why not? She’s sure had worse before!”